What is in the space among the thoughts?

I recently spent some time at my parents’ house back in my home country. I was in the kitchen when my attention was suddenly caught by a notebook with something written which looked like my teen writing. I came closer and realized it was part of a diary I wrote when I was 13 in a boarding school in
the UK. I clearly remember that such country was not exciting at all during the several summers I spent there as a kid. That is why when the teacher of English Literature told me to keep a daily diary that she would supervise I did not put too much effort into it.
 

At some point she wrote on her corrections that I should not just describe what I did during the day but also introduce my feelings. That is precisely the last page of the notebook that I was able to rescue since my family was using the empty spaces on the pages to write grocery lists. 

I curiously went through my writings and realized that the teacher failed to realize that my feelings were indeed there; sometimes with symbols and others between the lines. It was precisely a ‘feeling of lack of feelings’ since what I was doing in that school produced great apathy in me.  

Now I wonder what we are filling the space among our thoughts with. I guess mine has been filled in part with shopping lists.

2 Responses to “What is in the space among the thoughts?”

  1. Celina Says:

    The power of irony is so strong in this post!

    And it reminds me of the journal I had to fill out every day in third grade. Ms. Odlum had us all write in our blue journals at the end of the day. I can’t remember what day it was, or what time it was. But i do remember feeling very anxious every time the time came around. Not only did the room become so QUIET, but i was forced to write a “personal” entry that was going to be read and judged by Ms. Odlum. Not to mention that some of these “personal” entries had assignments: How did the leaves make you feel today?

    My mind at that time wasn’t capable of feeling free with the leaves yet. I was too anxious to tune into that kind of peace and awareness. I also was scared to write! I was in the last reading group: Green. And i didn’t want red marks all over my journal.

    But as time went on, and much to my surprise, i got a lot of black swirly smiley faces. And Ms. Odlum moved me up to the first reading group: Red.

    The anxiety went down a bit. But i don’t think i was ready to tune into the spaces between my thoughts. The space between the leaves and the pages of my journal.

    Another great post, Ana! You got me thinking over here!

  2. fanciber Says:

    Silence sometimes reveal more than hundreds of useless words… Anyway Ana, it’s a pitty that you didn’t allow your English Literature theacher to enjoy the incredible writing talent that you are showing in this blog.

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